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Katy Perry breaks down crying about her fight with depression during a therapy session Friday with Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh.

During the conversation Perry opened up her past struggles with family, love, alcohol abuse and suicidal thoughts, which was the inspiration behind her 2013 song “By the Grace of God.”

The intense session was captured event on her YouTube livestream.

“It’s hard because I sang it on tour, and it’s hard because I’m ashamed. Because, of course, ‘Katy Perry’s so strong,” she said with tears in her eyes. “I feel ashamed that I would even have those thoughts, and feel that low and that depressed… I wrote that song, ‘By the Grace of God’ because, you know, I do believe in something much bigger than me, and I call that ‘God.’”

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