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Although my son is 14, I still  have to  find cleaver ways to start a dialogue with him about the tragic events that happen in our country. He’d ask me “Mom, why did that guy do that?” or “What’s wrong with people?” Of course, I wouldn’t have any of those answers because I’m asking that very same question in my head!

With the devestating news that hit the world about the tragic shooting spree that took place at a Connecticut elementary school, that took the lives of 26; including the gunman, parents should be prepared to answer whatever questions your children will soon have.

First things first! Please don’t shut them out. They have feelings and just as we don’t understand the ways of the world, let’s not assume they do.

Talk to your children honestly about the tragedy and listen to their responses

  • Young children will react differently to tragedies than school-aged children, so Mental Health America recommends tailoring discussions with kids to their age group. For pre-school age children, look for nervous behaviors like thumb sucking; emphasize the child’s safety at home with family and ask questions to learn about the child’s particular feelings. For grade-school age children, encourage self-expression (through art or sports) as a way to understand their fears and anxieties. Do not try to cover up the tragedy, but don’t excessively expose your kids, either. If you have a teenager, encourage him to talk to friends and family and make sure any existing emotional problems are not worsened by the tragedy.

Limit their exposure to news coverage

  • Your children may want to watch the news on this event to understand what’s going on. But, “it is important to limit the amount of time spent watching the news because constant exposure may actually heighten their anxiety and fears,” according to the American Psychological Association.

Know the warning signs of a child who might be struggling to cope

  • Most kids will be able to move through this tragedy without too much stress.  But even children not directly impacted by the tragedy may be affected, so it’s important that parents be vigilant about their children’s reactions, like anxiety or extreme sadness, to the event.

Find grief counseling

  • If you’re feeling like your child can’t cope with this tragedy alone, consider reaching out to a grief counseling group in your area.  To find one, start by contacting local hospitals, community centers and churches — these organizations often can refer you to a free or low-cost grief counseling group.