Last night was the 92Q premiere of “Think Like A Man” based on the best-selling book by Steve Harvey. One of the top questions that I get on the show and on the streets is — do you agree with Steve Harvey? It is a hard question to answer because I have never read his book, but now that I have seen the film I have a better feel for Steve’s approach.
I agree ……
Women have given up the power in their relationships. Older women will tell you that traditionally a woman sets both the pace and expectations in a relationship and that if she manages her power well things will always work in her favor. We give up way too much too soon (sex, emotions, accessibility, resources) and we very rarely really call men on their stuff. Nagging or always threatening without ever doing isn’t calling a man on his stuff — stepping away or demanding a change or else is.
Men want us as much as we want them! There seems to be a perception that men are not looking for quality women and real love. That is simply not true. While a women may decide that now is the time for someone serious or time to get married; men don’t do that, but all men are waiting on some level to meet the women that may convince them to give up the game for good. Players don’t believe she exists and nice guys don’t really think it will ever happen for them. A woman who can satisfy all of his needs is a bit of a”unicorn” to a man — until he meets her.
Basic relationship roles still exist. No matter the level of education, money or change in societal rules there are still some basic expectations and roles that men and women play in a relationship. Men want to provide and women want to be treasured. If either side is not getting these core things, it is not going to work. What needs to be adjusted are the ways we carry out these basic roles. Providing does not always mean the dollars he brings to the table; it can be the attention he gives, accessibility, love and support. Being treasured does not always mean being clingy or big gifts, but can mean simply coming first, valuing her opinion and wanting her to be happy.
I disagree ….
90 Day Rule — Women ask me about this all the time and my answer is the same. A man truly set on taking advantage will wait 90 days or more and still bring devastation to your life. 90 days guarantee absolutely nothing in a relationship. The only things that may keep you out of a bad love situation are good common sense, brutal honesty with yourself and paying close attention to whether what he is saying and what he is doing is lining up.
This is the guide for “all” men. We have to be careful in taking a basic theory and applying it to “all.” The movie while giving out needed male insight on relationships in no way covers every man out there. There are exceptions to every rule and we are all truly unique. The best way to win with your guy is to know your guy and more importantly know yourself. Expert advice is sort of the dessert of the relationship meal — the sweet and fun part that you decide how much if any to ingest. The only two people who now how to fix or break a relationship are the two people who are in it.
Fave Parts of the Film……
Great representation of African-American characters that were believable and real. These people looked and acted like my circle and I loved it.
Cameos were incredible —- my faves —- Porsche Guy and finally meeting Gayle!
Kevin Hart finally won me over!
Michael Ealy and his ankh — we went to the same church as teens and he has definitely grown up darn fine!
A great tutorial on the power of taking control of your love life and not just letting love happen to you!
Tell me what you think!!!!!!!