I can’t make this stuff up: You vote on who should get awarded the (drum roll) DUMB ASS OF THE DAY AWARD!!!
Nominee #1:
(MSNBC) – A down-on-his luck elderly Oregon man has decided to hit the road and relocate almost a thousand miles to Quartzsite, Arizona – while riding his lawnmower tractor.
Stephen Hulsey, from Grant’s Pass, Oregon, lost his job two years ago and has decided to move to greener pastures in Arizona.
However, Hulsey hasn’t driven a car in over two decades as a result of his poor eyesight, so his mower is his only mode of transportation.
Hulsey packed up his belongings, along with his dachshund named “LT,” and left last Wednesday on his tractor, which only gets approximately fifteen miles to the gallon and travels four miles-per-hour.
“Unemployment’s running out, so my trailer’s gone,” Hulsey said. “I just took my lawn tractor and my trailer and I hit the road.”
Hulsey hopes to make it to the Arizona desert before Christmas.
Nominee #2:
Bringing a weapon to a crime causes more grief than it’s worth. But if you do decide to arm yourself, it ought to be with something that will actually scare someone.
Earlier this year, 19-year-old Justin MacGilfrey allegedly entered a Daytona Beach, Florida, store, pointed his index finger — yes, his index finger! — at the clerk, cocked his thumb, and demanded all the money in the register.
The clerk assumed it was a joke. But MacGilfrey, who has pleaded not guilty to robbery, was serious. After determining the finger wasn’t loaded, the clerk emerged from behind the register. That’s when the finger-slinger holstered his digit and ran from the store. He was later arrested and, presumably, fingerprinted.
Who wins? Your votes count!
